April 9th 2006
"my memories of having Josey are still somehow fresh in my mind. The days after some thick & some cloudy- I will cherish always. Sadness & elation, delight & misery, love & more love- desperate & divine LOVE!!!! Joey rode the waves with me alternately balancing & mirroring my emotions. He held me up in the shower- when I could not stand alone & made me toast when nothing sounded good to eat. He did countless loads of laundry (learning how to fold tiny sleepers & socks on his own). During those first long nights, he answered her cries- diapering her & then bringing her to me for feedings. We would lay together no longer as 2 but 3 (our first moments as a family). It was then that it happened. I looked at Joey and found someone else to love- Josey's daddy.... My heart grew & my love shifted. It fell into a deep & permanent place.
I always knew that becoming a mom would change my life, I just didn't know that it could change my love. The love that I felt for her was amazing, but the love that
I began to feel for Joey took me completely by surprise. I found it in the simplest moments: seeing them share a cookie, watching him see one of her "firsts", seeing his face when she squealed with excitement after he let her win at a game, watching them click "cheers" with her sippy cup & his glass, and seeing the delight in a daddy who would sit & play tea party without protest.
As a new bride I believed that sharing a life together was the ultimate act of love. Now I know that sharing a life together pales in comparison with creating a life together!!!
Now 2 yrs old Josey is a precious delight to ALL. I have enjoyed everyday that God has given me with her. She & her daddy are the best of buds. Some evenings they gather quilts & drape them over chairs for "camp outs". They recite... "a brain, a heart, the nerve...." her chubby cheek pressed against his. In the evenings he takes over bath-time, (letting her play until her toes are pruney, until the last cup of tea has been served, and she is left shivering in the empty tub). One of my pleasures in life is listening to them on the baby monitor as he puts her to bed. They talk together about her day, then talk about the bible lesson (with special attention being brought to something that will me asked again tomorrow- to see if she can recall the lesson). Then comes the..... I LOVE YOUs. I am in a pile of mush so in love with them being in love with each other, enjoying the blessings of family, & praying my thank you to the ONE who gave us love in the first place.
Catherine visited yesterday & saw a beach photo of the 2 of them. She leaned in a whispered "I think that Joey is in love with another woman", to which I replied "I know and I couldn't be happier!"
what a precious sight!!!!to my sweet Josey:
a daughter is the happy memories of the past,
the joyful moments of the present,
and the hope & promise of the future....
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